This is so boss

Something funny

So yesterday I was at the gym. I had a pretty bad case of the gas, which is not unusual for me. So, i am getting ready to do some dumbbell presses with some 75lb dumbbells. I press the dumbbells above my head, contract my abs, and cut this HUGE fart. I mean huge! I had my headphones on, and I heard it over the music. Nice! The dude next to me looked over at me like "whats up?" and I am trying not to wet my pants I am laughing so hard. So pro.

Some pics...

Lard ass
I would live here
My new drawers.

3 meals in one sitting

I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one meal on Sunday morning. The German burger. 1/2 pound of beef , 2 slices of bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, and the best part, 2 fried eggs on it! Hell yeah! And fries. 2000 manly calories right there, just right for the fat man.

We went to the gateway cup this weekend. I didn't race, just spectated. Good times. Stayed with the Kippenbergers, thanks guys for the hospitality. The weekend was pretty much a blur of eating, bike racing, and hanging out with friends. Dillon was on his best behavior and made Alicia and me proud. It was great to catch up with Micah and Sarah, we haven't seen them forever.

So much has gone on since the last time I seriously updated this thing. We went to Orlando, I am a year older, Dillon is 2, Alicia is 31, lots of other stuff I can't even remember.

Seriously?

David Beckham's nickname is "Goldenballs"?

The White Stripes

Fucking suck. I would rather listen to someone scraping a fork on a ceramic plate then the shit they have recorded.

Maybe I should "kick myself out, I'm an immigrant too". Fuck you.

Bearforce1 videoclip

Speechless...

Maybe I need to blood dope...

I went and skipped the Tuesday night ride in favor of an off road ride at Cosmo with Jaysin last night. He kicked my ass for 2 very fast laps, he was on his single speed and I was on my suspension bike. Fuck, I am fat. I even made an "excuse" to stop and take a breather, I had a leaf stuck in my rear brake and it was rubbing on the tire and being very annoying. I could have reached back and pulled it off while riding (I have mad skills), but I wanted to have a reason to get off my bike and catch my breath. I felt pretty shitty the whole ride. Oh well, I guess you can't always be a winner, right? But you can be a weiner. Maybe I should take up downhill racing, you can be fat and smoke cigarettes and be competitive. What else...I have been playing the shit out of Guitar Hero on the 360. Almost 300 pages into Deathly Hallows, it is great so far. Work is busy. Dillon is growing. Alicia is doing good. Blah blah blah.

Someone hit me with the retard stick

Yesterday after I rode the single speed, Alicia and I took Dillon to Pirates cove, a cool swimming place that you can take kids and what not. Well, me being the bright star that I am, decided to only put sunscreen on my tattoos and not the rest of my body. Holy shit, I am fucking sunburned. Enough that I didn't sleep very good last night, and I am not riding today because I am uncomfortable wearing a shirt.

Ever have one of those rides...

Where you are dreading putting your gear on because you dont feel like riding? Yah, yesterday was like that. Just felt pretty blah when I got off work, and not into riding. But I went anyway. Took out the sweet spot. I had a great ride, actually! Hit Cosmo, for a couple of hot laps, turned faster lap times the I have in a loooong time.
I am obsessed with Randy Savage. OOOHHHHHH YEAAHHHHH!!!

Beer?

I rolled out to the tight pants ride last night. I cleaned all of the dead bugs off of my bike, so of course it rained. Now my bike is dirty. So are the pink socks that I had on. Butthead asked me if I was wearing my son's baby socks. What else...I am listening to XM radio, kind of fun since I can hear a bunch of shit that I used to listen to in the 90's. Some of it really sucks. Some doesn't. Thats about all I have right now, my guts are rolling...

First things first...

Brady, I am glad I could brighten your day! Massacration is the shit, if you could hook a brother up, it would be much appreciated!

So, what has been up with me? Not a lot, like usual. I have actually been riding again a little, hit the trails some this weekend. Friday I rocked out on the Voodoo, I was actually thinking about racing in Jeff City on Sunday, but Friday pretty much put those plans in the shitter. I felt pretty crappy, and the heat really hit me in the nuts. I finally got my CX bike finished, and got the new Campy carbon brake levers that I have been lusting over for the past 4 years installed. So, I took it for a ride around town on Saturday, hit up Stephens Lake park for some white trash spotting, and rolled a parade loop. Saturday night, we went to dinner over at Seth, Kelly, and Lucy's house. Very nice! Dillon and Lucy finally warmed up to each other, and it was very cool to see them chasing each other around the house. Seth and Kelly were very good hosts, thanks for the food and beer! Sunday, I decided to roll out at Cosmo instead of the race; I took the Schwinn Homegrown Sweet Spot. This was my second ride on that bike. It is actually a very nice ride, epsecially for a 12 year old bike. The suspension is still comfy, it is light thanks to its 8-speed XT drivetrain, and the Judy SL fork is surprisingly plush. I can't complain, I actually cleared some stuff easily that I have had problems with before. Go figure. I bought the bike with some different intentions. First, I just thought about parting it out and selling it piece by piece, it is in excellent shape and has some gucci vintage components on it. Then, I considered converting it to a singlespeed since it has a floating drivetrain. But, I think I am going to leave it the way it is. 8 speed is actually fine. Everything works great on the bike. So, yah, I guess I am retro. I am going to race it. It will be sweet lining up next to guys with discs and 9-speed and VPP designs, and here I will be on my old school SS. What else...Dillon is obsessed with running around in our front yard naked and playing in the sprinkler, pool, and gigantic bucket wi fill with water for him. He is a little hoosier in training. I stayed home fromwork today due to a migraine headache. Fun.

metal is the law

Hell Yeah!

Massacration - Metal Milk Shake

Holy shit, this is BOSS!

Man, Furby

Your luck is rubbing off on me. Alicia and I went for a ride today, and decided to take out the single speeds. Well, she hadn't ever been off road on hers, so I wasn't too confident of it's trail worthiness. Needless to say, it was chain drop city! Then, I flatted. I didn't have a tire lever with me, so I used the quick release lever and got my hands dirty. The bead on my tire was VERY f'ing tight. Still a fund ride, though...Alicia and I went out to Flat Branch last night without Dillon, her mom is in town and we got an evening off...I fasted all day yesterday, actually I ended up fasting for almost 24 hours. I had to have a cat scan after work at 430, and I couldnt eat. Lame, I am used to taking in 3000 calories by that time, so I was pretty rough. And, we had a picnic at work, so I had to sit and watch everyone else eat. So yah, past couple of days = blah.

And now, I am finishing this post up on Tuesday. Not a lot has happened since then. I can say one thing, though. If you are a Nigerian scammer and you happen to be reading this, consider this an open invitation to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. I am sick of scammers jacking my auctions on ebay trying to get me to ship stuff to them. I am not stupid, quit wasting my time and money. Come see me, I can teach you a lesson in pain (cheese). Last night, I picked up another bike, it is a vintage 1996 Schwin Homegrown Sweet Spot full suspension bike with mint Kooka cranks! Holy crap, this thing is hot. What to do with it...pictures coming soon..

Happy Birthday

To my lovely wife! You are the best, and I hope you had a good day!

Scumbag

TPT

Yah, I went on my first tight pants Tuesday ride last night after an impromptu bout of weightlifting. Man, I am somewhat slow on the bike. Actually, I felt ok, I know everyone was not going too hard, but maybe I might get some fitness for later in the season? It was good to ride with the group again, and catch up with some people. Even guy on a $6000 bike with helmet mirror. Tracey told me that I have big boobs, too. What else...wok. Boring, busy. Dillon: getting big like usual, and getting a pretty good vocabulary. Alicia is doing good, her birthday is coming up in a week and change...We went to Kershas for a bbq on Saturday night, good times. I rocked out to the sweet song of the 211. Rode a big tree and change on Saturday afternoon. Not a lot else, just keeping on.

Quote of the day:

"The world is ours to destroy." --Jason Ozenberger, this afternoon after eating at the Main Squeeze, a Columbia, MO hippie restaurant. Alicia and I were having a discussion about recycling. The hippies at the restaurant were giving us some weird looks after we took a bunch of napkins to wipe juice off of Dillon. Gee, sorry, I just killed some trees. Anyway, I don't advocate going out of my way to trash the place, but, hey, nothing I do will help either. So, I am not going to really make a difference if I recycle my beer bottle instead of throwing it in the trash.

Sorry about the rant. Hippies suck.

Hi

So Alicia and I are sitting at home on another Friday night. Such is the life of a parent of a 22.5 month old. No complaints, actually it is nice to just chill. Alicia is giving me the play by play on the Cardinals game, they are actually up 4-0, but I am sure they will find a way to lose. Not a lot else going on. Alicia is not feeling the greatest, hopefully she will start feeling better. Dillon and I went for a walk this evening and found ourselves at one of our neighbors house. Said neighbor had a litter of 6-week old chihuahuas. Holy cow, I wanted to take one home with us. Super cute, and it would be something for the cats to bully for a bit. Seriously, though, I am thinking Dillon needs a puppy. Maybe I need a puppy. What else...I went out to the group mtb ride at Cosmo last night. I don't know whether I would consider it a group ride since there were only three of us (including me). The ride organizer wasn't even there. It was fun, though getting to ride with new people at a chill pace, and I rolled the single speed.